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random reviews and other thoughts

12 Days of Christmas (Movies)

We all know that it’s a wonderful life and that there was some kind of miracle over on 34th street, but there are lots of other movies out there that celebrate the yuletide season, albeit in maybe a less obvious way. For those of you looking to make your holidays a bit more … colorful, sing along as we count down the 12 days of Christmas movies.

On the 12th day of Christmas my true love made me watch:

12 terrorists stealing …
Die Hard (1988) – Leave it to John McClane (Bruce Willis) to save us from another boring company Christmas party. He even brings gifts: The gift of sweet death to Hans Gruber (Alan Rickman) and the rest of the bad guys. He’s just like Santa, except for the suit, sleigh, reindeer and elves. And I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight: Happy Christmas to all, and to all a yippee-ki-yay mother … you know the rest.

11 puppets singing …
A Muppet Christmas Carol (1992) – There are approximately 20 gazillion versions of Charles Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol.” What makes this one worth watching? The Muppets, of course. Michael Caine, as the crotchety Ebenezer Scrooge, does some of his finest work along side Kermit and the rest of the gang.

10 criminals evading …
Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang (2005) – Note to self: The next time I’m trying to outrun the cops because I broke into a toy store on Christmas Eve, just claim to be an actor doing research for a role. That is exactly what happens to Harry Lockhart (Robert Downey Jr.) in this hilarious neo-noir holiday gem.

9 elaborate booby traps trapping …
Home Alone (1990) – Nothing says Christmas like child abandonment. When his family leaves for vacation without him, 8-year-old Kevin McCallister (Macaulay Culkin) must fend for himself and fight off two inept burglars (Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern). “Home Alone” asks life’s tough questions, like: Is seeing a guy get hit in the crotch ever not funny?

8 storylines intersecting …
Love Actually (2003) – Aurélia is in love with Jamie, who’s friends with Sarah, who works with Mia, who’s having an affair with Harry, who’s cheating on his wife Karen, whose brother is the Prime Minister, who’s in love with Natalie, whose neighbor is Mark, who’s in love with Juliet, who’s married to Peter, whose neighbor is Daniel, whose son is Sam, who’s in love with Joanna. Did you follow all that? “Love Actually” is sweet, funny, and just makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

7 family members fighting …
The Family Stone (2005) – Diane Keaton, as matriarch of the Stone family, leads an all-star cast, including: Rachel McAdams, Claire Danes, Craig T. Nelson, Sarah Jessica Parker and Luke Wilson. “The Family Stone” is a charming holiday comedy about a dysfunctional family coming together to celebrate the season.

6 foot tall guy elfing …
Elf (2003) – Will Ferrell, love him or hate him, is friggin’ awesome as Buddy, a human raised by elves who is  searching for his real family in NYC. Watch it, if for nothing else than to see Peter Dinklage, aka Angry Elf, kicking the crap out of Ferrell in one of the movies’ best scenes.

5 acts of stupidity …
Ernest Saves Christmas (1988) – I know it’s dumb. I know it’s a terrible movie. I know I should be embarrassed by my love of Ernest. I don’t care. Christmas just isn’t Christmas until Ernest saves it.

4 creepy critters …
Gremlins (1984) – What is the worst Christmas present you’ve ever received? When Billy gives his new pet a midnight snack he inadvertently creates an army of ugly green monsters that specialize in wreaking havoc. And you thought Furbies were bad.

3 hundred profanities …
Bad Santa (2003) – Ever wondered what that mall Santa was really like? Billy Bob Thornton stars as a lying, cheating, stealing, drinking, swearing Santa Clause – who is  trying to get through the season with as few kids throwing up on him as possible. If you had to sit and listen to spoiled little brats whine about their wants all day long, you’d be a little bitter too.

2 suburban hostages …
The Ref (1994) – It’s Christmas Eve, you’re on the verge of divorce, your son was just expelled from military school (again), your in-laws (who hate you) are due any minute and, to top it all off, Denis Leary just kidnapped you and your husband. At least it can’t get any worse, can it?

And a fat guy in a red suit.
The Santa Clause (1994) – What says lighthearted Christmas comedy more than mythical holiday figure homicide? When Scott Calvin (Tim Allen) accidentally kills Santa, he steals his suit, his sleigh and his job. He becomes the new St. Nick and, along with his son Charlie, unknowingly steps into a world he stopped believing in long ago.

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Trackbacks/Pingbacks

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