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Have you seen the one about … VAMPIRES

Cover of "Vampire in Brooklyn"

Cover of Vampire in Brooklyn

These films may bite, and they may suck, but you have to admit they’re entertaining.

Some may think that vampires are a recent trend, but our fascination with the living dead is nothing new. As long as there have been vampires, there have been vampire movies, both good and bad. But let’s be honest, the bad ones are way more fun. Here are some vampire flicks that are so bad, they’re good.

Lost Boys (1987)

The 80’s gave us a lot of good movies. It also gave us a lot of bad ones. Most of those involve the Coreys (Feldman and Haim). “Lost Boys” throws in a bleach-blonde Kiefer Sutherland as leader of a vamp pack trying to recruit Jason Patric in all their 80’s glory.

Interview with a Vampire (1994)

Tom Cruise (pre-crazy) and Brad Pitt (pre-diaper duty) star as a duo of ageless immortals. What’s worse than the pairs over-the-top acting is Kirsten Dunst as a blonde brat that never shuts up.

Vampire in Brooklyn (1995)

Eddie Murphy stars as a Caribbean vampire who moves to Brooklyn. I repeat, Eddie Murphy … as a vampire … with a Caribbean accent … trying to woo Angela Bassett. What makes it worse is that it’s directed by Wes Craven.

From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)

Quentin Tarantino knows his blood and gore and this vampire flick has plenty of both. Plus Juliette Lewis, Harvey Keitel, Cheech Marin, Danny Trejo, and George Clooney all trapped in dingy club together till dawn. Not to mention Salma Hayek as the sexiest vampire stripper queen ever.

Underworld (2003)

As a general rule of thumb, the tighter the female leads clothes get, the worse the movie they’re trying to hide. But in Kate Beckinsale’s skintight leather suit you can’t hide anything.

Blade: Trinity (2004)

While 1998’s “Blade,” the first of the trilogy, is a far superior film, “Trinity” has something that the first does not … Ryan Reynolds. With Reynolds as a sarcastic sidekick to Wesley Snipes badass vampire hunter, it almost makes up for the fact that Jessica Biel also stars.

Twilight (2008)

“Twilight” is like a car accident, you can’t not watch; they’re awful and addictive. The acting is terrible. The dialog is laughable. And what they’ve done to the vampiric myth is deplorable. Real vampires don’t sparkle Spidermonkey.




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