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Have you seen the one about … SUPERHEROES

In the past decade or so, studios have run amuck with comic book and superhero movie adaptations. Some have been really great (“X-Men,” “Dark Knight”), some have been really bad (“X-Men Origins: Wolverine,” “Batman & Robin”), and others have been really please-make-it-stop-when-will-this-trend-die dreadful (“Daredevil,” “Elektra”).

I’ve rounded up some of my favorite Superheros from an assortment of Superhero movies, both good and bad. And just as a disclaimer to all you fanboys and fangirls out there, these are based on the movies (which I know usually get it wrong) and not the comic book canon they may have originated from.

In no particular order …

Batman (Michael Keaton)
a.k.a. Bruce Wayne
from: “Batman” (1989)
Superpowers or Super cool gadgets: Super cool gadgets
Special Abilities: Martial Arts training and lots and LOTS of bat-shaped paraphernalia
Arch-Enemy: The Joker
Why he’s on the list: Before Tim Burton became Johnny Depp’s bestie, he directed the preeminent performance of a man in a bat suit. You know, back before it had nipples. Michael Keaton was the first, and no matter how many sequels/remakes/reboots they do, no matter who dons the mask and cape, Michael Keaton will always be first in my heart. Gotham City has never had a better Caped Crusader.

Hellboy (Ron Perlman)
a.k.a. Anung un Rama, Beast of the Apocalypse
from: “Hellboy” (2004)
Superpowers or Super cool gadgets: Superpowers
Special Abilities: He’s a demon from the underworld, what do you think?
Arch-Enemy: Grigori Rasputin
Why he’s on the list: So what if he was born in Hell and is supposed to bring about the apocalypse, that doesn’t make him a bad guy. At least he tries really hard not to be; even going as far as sawing off his horns. (Cause that will help him fit in, the red skin and giant stone arm are easily missed.) He’s sarcastic with a devilish wit, and who’d of thought that the spawn of Satan would be a cat person?

Mrs. Incredible (Holly Hunter)
a.k.a. Helen Parr/ Elastigirl
from: The Incredibles” (2004)
Superpowers or Super cool gadgets: Superpowers
Special Abilities: She’s Elastigirl, she can stretch and reshape her body into whatever is needed to save the day
Arch-Enemy: Syndrome
Why she’s on the list: She cooks, cleans, helps with homework, and… oh yeah, jets half way around the world to rescue her husband when he gets himself kidnapped. She can do anything, and get the kids back in time for bed. (It is a school day after all.) Being a superhero is hard; being a wife and mother, well, that’s just crazy.

Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.)
a.k.a. Tony Stark
from: “Iron Man” (2008)
Superpowers or Super cool gadgets: Super cool gadgets
Special Abilities: Gold-titanium exoskeleton powered by Stark’s arc-reactor. It can fly, shoot, and launch anti-tank missiles.
Arch-Enemy: Obadiah Stane
Why he’s on the list: Robert Downey Jr. oozes charm and charisma. He was a perfect fit for this egotistical superhero who doesn’t shy away from fame and celebrity. While the second film lacked some of the inspiration of the first, I still hold out hope for the next one. As long as Jon Favreau is directing and there’s at least on scene of Robert Downey Jr. with is shirt off.

Wolverine (Hugh Jackman)
a.k.a. Logan
from:X-Men” (2000)
Superpowers or Super cool gadgets: Superpower
Special Abilities: His skeleton was bonded with adamantium, an indestructible metal, plus he’s got really sharp claws along with a rapid healing ability
Arch-Enemy: Magneto
Why he’s on the list: Really? You’re going to make me defend this one? Okay … well for starters, he’s Wolverine! His skeleton was bonded with adamantium, an indestructible metal, plus he’s got really sharp claws along with a rapid healing ability. He also has crazy mutton chops and smokes cigars and … umm … he’s Wolverine! ‘Nuff said.

Hit-Girl (Chloë Grace Moretz)
a.k.a. Mindy Macready
from: Kick-Ass” (2010)
Superpowers or Super cool gadgets: Super cool gadgets
Special Abilities: She’s got the mouth of a sailor and a right hook to match
Arch-Enemy: Frank D’Amico
Why she’s on the list: Women are an underrepresented demographic in the superhero movie world. (No, “Catwoman” doesn’t count and we will not speak of it again.) Even more underrepresented in the 11-year-old girl demographic. She hits, kicks, flips, and has the ultimate disguise because who wouldn’t trust a doe-eyed little girl? Plus she has a purple wig and can take a bullet like a pro. I want to be just like her when I grow up.

Captain Hammer (Nathan Fillion)
a.k.a. Dr. Horrible’s arch-nemisis
from: “Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog” (2008)
Superpowers or Super cool gadgets: Superpowers
Special Abilities: Superhuman strength, near-invulnerability, over-inflated ego, and a beautiful singing voice
Arch-Enemy: Dr. Horrible
Why he’s on the list: I know it’s not a feature-length film but a three-part internet-exclusive miniseries is kind of like a real movie. Though, I may have included him simply so I could talk about my love of Neil Patrick Harris (Dr. Horrible). Not to mention Joss Whedon, who wrote and directed the series about a singing/blogging supervillain and his attempts to thwart his nemesis Captain Hammer and win the love of his life, Penny. And those songs are just so darn catchy.

Scott Pilgrim (Michael Cera)
a.k.a. bass guitarist for the band Sex-Bob-omb
from:Scott Pilgrim vs. the World” (2010)
Superpowers or Super cool gadgets: Super cool gamer powers
Special Abilities: Superhuman fighting abilities and the power of love
Arch-Enemies: League of Evil Exes-Matthew Patel, Lucas Lee, Todd Ingram, Roxy Richter, Kyle and Ken Katayanagi, and Gideon Gordon Graves
Why he’s on the list: Someone has to represent all the slacker ADHD gamers out there. Scott Pilgrim fights demon hipster chicks, the Human Torch (and soon to be Captain America), a psychic vegan (because all vegans can read minds, duh), a half-ninja lesbian, Japanese twins, and an evil mastermind. Why? The love of his life of course. Plus he’s in a band, so there’s an instant cool factor.

Wade Wilson (Ryan Reynolds)
a.k.a. later as Deadpool/ Weapon XI
from: X-Men Origins: Wolverine” (2009)
Superpowers or Super cool gadgets: Superpowers
Special Abilities: sword-wielding mercenary with superhuman speed and a razor sharp wit
Arch-Enemy: He’s a mercenary … so basically, whoever he’s told is
Why he’s on the list: Wade was the greatest thing about this sorry excuse for an X-Men movie. Unfortunately, he disappears 15 minutes in, which is sad because unlike the rest of the film, he was intentionally funny. No one can deliver quick, sarcastic, one-liners better than Reynolds. (Plus, did you see his arms, super buff.)  It gives me hope for the Deadpool movie that we’ve been promised. That is, once we get past the train wreck that will be “The Green Lantern,” if the trailer is any indication.

The Bowler (Janeane Garofalo)
a.k.a. Carol
from: Mystery Men” (1999)
Superpowers or Super cool gadgets: Superpowers in the form of a super cool bowling ball
Special Abilities: Bowling ball with a mind of his own
Arch-Enemies: Tony P. and Casanova Frankenstein
Why she’s on the list: “Mystery Men” is full of … um … unique superheroes. And while I could have included the Blue Raja or The Shoveler, I’m partial to The Bowler. Why? She’s not afraid to get in there and throw down. You might think she’s crazy because she put her dad’s skull in a bowling ball and talks to him, but I can that devotion. Yes, it’s a little awkward when they get into arguments but she’s just cranky because she’s wearing someone else’s shoes.

Michelangelo (Michelan Sisti, Robbie Rist (voice))
a.k.a. the orange one
from: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” (1990)
Superpowers or Super cool gadgets: Superpowers
Special Abilities: He’s an anthropomorphic turtle trained in ninjutsu by a rat sensei
Arch-Enemy: Shredder
Why he’s on the list: Who didn’t love those heroes in a half shell? (And just to be clear, we’re talking about the original and not the current reincarnation of these mutant heroes, which looks super terrifying.) Mikey was hands-down the coolest of the four. He got all the best lines and was the party dude. Plus he got the nun chucks so he wins. Turtle power!

Phantom (Billy Zane)
a.k.a. Kit Walker
from: The Phantom” (1996)
Superpowers or Super cool gadgets: Superpowers
Special Abilities: A skilled fighter with a magical skull ring he uses to destroy his enemies
Arch-Enemies: Xander Drax and Sala
Why he’s on the list: Where did Billy Zane go? Now that I think about it, I really miss him. He was The Phantom, then left Kate Winslet to drown in the Atlantic, there was that cameo in “Zoolander,” then poof … he disappeared. According to IMDb.com he’s had steady work since that one ship movie including a dozen projects coming out this year and a rumored “Phantom” sequel that’s been in the talks for the past two years. We miss you Billy, and your purple spandex.

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