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Another Musketeer Movie

So they’ve decided to make another Three Musketeers movie and the trailer has finally been released.

This is all well and good but if reminds me of another set of musketeers, and although I only have the trailer to base my judgement on, I’m sure they will always be my favorite musketeers.

Cover of "The Three Musketeers"

Cover of The Three Musketeers

Why?

Because one of them is Charlie Sheen and he’s made of win!

In 1993 Disney came out with “The Three Musketeers” starring Chris O’Donnell as the young D’Artagnan, Keifer Sutherland as the reserved leader Athos, Oliver Platt as the boisterous, womanizing Porthos, and, yes, Charlie Sheen as the level-headed Aramis.

Now, given his current media-hyped Coo-Coo-for-Cocoa-Puffs lifestyle this is pretty funny. But let’s think back to a 1993 Sheen. Back then he was known as a coked-up son-of-a-superstar who’d call up his good friend Heidi Fleiss for a date. That would make his role as a priest/king’s bodyguard even more ironic.

So who do we have this time around?

Logan Lerman (a.k.a. Percy Jackson) as D’Artagnan, Matthew Macfadyen (a.k.a. Mr. Darcy) as Athos, Ray Stevenson (a.k.a. ???) as Porthos, and Luke Evans (also ???) as Aramis. Really? How am I supposed to take these guys more serious than the ’93 cast?

It’s inconceivable!!!

And let’s talk villains.

Who do you think would win in a fight between Tim Curry (1993 version) and Orlando Bloom (2011)? Even throwing in Christoph Waltz to help Bloom out doesn’t help. Curry is hands down pure evil in a robe as the dastardly Cardinal Richelieu.

The 1993 film was hardly the first incarnation of Alexandre Dumas’ novel and this new version, I doubt, will be the last.

These new musketeers may be more faithful to the original story. And they may give the girls a little more action. But I don’t care. O’Donnell, Sutherland, Platt, and Sheen are the only four men I’ll ever consider to be the three musketeers.

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