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random reviews and other thoughts

MovieScopes: Zodiac Goes to the Movies

”]Cover of "Die Hard [Blu-ray]"

Aries
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World: Only 7 evil exes? That’s not the world! What a chump! You could easily defeat the entire world if you tried – that’s what you tell yourself at least.

Taurus
Raging Bull: You have some pent-up hostility. But you know what? That’s what makes you a champion. Way to go!

Gemini
The Shining: You’re never lonely because you have your imaginary friends to talk to and those creepy twins to keep you company. Go out and play!

Cancer
Misery: When you love someone you have to forcibly keep them against their will. Cut off their feet so they can’t run away. Do whatever it takes to hold onto them. That’s true love.

Leo
The Lion King: Be honest, when you watch “The Lion King” you totally identify with Scar and wonder where you can get some hyena lackeys.

Virgo
Jennifer’s Body: If you suddenly became a demonic succubus and everyone thought you were evil, I’d still totally be your friend cause hey, a girls gotta eat. Besties for life!

Libra
Twilight: Like Bella, you really need to make up your mind. Jacob or Edward, wolf or bat, life or death. Newsflash – no one cares spider monkey!

Scorpio
Apocalypse Now: You love the smell of napalm in the morning. Fine, but you don’t have to tell that to everyone you meet. Some things are better left unsaid.

Sagittarius
Robin Hood: Men in Tights: You rob from the rich and give to the poor while saving maidens, singing songs, and looking damn good in those tights!

Capricorn
Die Hard: You’re an official badass and don’t let anything or anyone stand in your way. No terrorist is going to ruin your holiday, just remember to wear shoes next time.

Aquarius
One Hour Photo: Unhappy with your life? Just become obsessed with someone else and try and steal theirs. That’s not creepy at all.

Pisces
The Little Mermaid: Always striving for what’s next, you can never settle for the world around you. Just don’t go making deals with giant octopi.

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