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Have you seen the one about… DYSFUNCTIONAL COUPLES

No where has more dysfunctional couples than Hollywood. The movies make us look at our lives and examine our relationships and see that things could always be much, MUCH worse. This Valentine’s Day snuggle up on the couch with your sweetie, pop in one of these films, and say to each other, “At least we’re not that bad.”

Scarlett O’Hara and Rhett ButlerGone with the Wind (1939)
Always a gentleman, Rhett gives and gives and gives while the Southern belle takes and takes and takes. In a film where everyone dies, except for the one person I wanted to see go. Frankly my dear, I didn’t give a damn either.
Jack and Wendy Torrance – The Shining(1980)
You have a nice romantic lodge to yourselves all winter, how romantic. Oh wait, your husband is an abusive, alcoholic psychopath whose best friend is a ghost. All work and no play makes Jack a creeper! But that hedge maze is still really cool.
Veronica and J.D.Heathers(1988)
Nothing brings people together like plotting a murder! These two crazy kids make such an explosive couple. Why can’t Veronica see that she doesn’t need to be one of the popular girls when she has a man(iac) like J.D. at her side?
Harry and Helen Tasker – True Lies(1994)
Every relationship has its ups and downs but just be honest. If you tell your wife you’re a secret agent maybe she won’t think you’re so boring and go off with the used car salesman. Then she wouldn’t get kidnapped by the terrorists and you wouldn’t have to save her.
Mickey and Mallory Knox – Natural Born Killers(1994)
They were completely devoted to one another. They’d kill for each other, in fact they did. How romantic? Yeah, there’s nothing wrong with these psychotic newlyweds with daddy issues. Not even prison bars could keep these to lovebirds apart.
Romeo and JulietRomeo + Juliet (1996)
It doesn’t really matter which version you watch, the story’s the same and as dysfunctional as ever. They’re teenagers and “in love” so of course it’s the end of the world cause they’re families hate each other. It’s no reason to kill yourself, so overdramatic.
Jack and RoseTitanic (1997)
I know this seems like a romance to end all romances, my heart will go on, and all that crap but let’s look at the facts. Jack died because his precious Rose couldn’t slide over a couple inches and make room for him. How selfish can you be! There was totally room for both of them.
Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. DarcyPride and Prejudice(2005)
What do you do with two people so perfect for each other but can’t see it because their own egos get in their way? All this fighting and misunderstanding could have all been cleared up if they would just talk to each other. Drives me nuts.
Lars and Bianca – Lars and the Real Girl(2007)
They say love is blind, but is it also delusional? She’s a plastic sex toy. And I don’t mean that as a demeaning remark towards the girl, I’m being literal. She’s not real. I know dating can be rough but isn’t it better if they have a pulse?
Edward and BellaTwilight (2008)
Speaking of necrophilia… he’s an overprotective, arrogant reanimated corpse. But a rich one, so he’s got that going for him. Bella is … um … terrible. Honestly, just a horrible excuse for a female protagonist. Will someone please explain to me why they like this unironically?
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  1. Pingback: Twilight Saga Comes to Entertaining End « i'm a movie nerd - November 18, 2012

  2. Pingback: I Swear I’m Not a Twi-hard! Adventures in Forks « i'm a movie nerd - November 19, 2012

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