Ever wondered what happened to Hansel and Gretel after they killed the evil witch?
That sort of thing is bound to mess your head up a bit. I mean, if I was abandoned in the woods by my parents, captured by an ugly old witch, force-fed sweets, and almost baked alive, I’d have some issues.
“Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters” stars Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton as the famed brother-sister orphans turned bounty hunters duo. They roam the country killing witches and freeing captured children. They’re quite famous, and quite good at what they do.
They’re hired by a small village after 11 children go missing right before the blood moon. Super witch Muriel (Famke Janssen) is collecting them for a gathering of the covens she’s planning. On their search the witch-killing siblings stumble across that old candy prison of theirs and find out some things about their past and their parents.
I first heard about this film last year and was pretty excited for it. Then the release kept getting pushed back farther and farther. (Never a good sign.) There was a debate about whether it would be released as PG-13 or R. And my enthusiasm wavered.
I was expecting either decent entertainment or horrible mess. At the very least I knew I’d get to see Hawkeye kick some witch ass. The film delivered. It was fun, had lots of action, some funny moments, and lots of blood. It earns it’s mild R with violence, language, and nudity.
The best description I’ve heard of this movie is from rorschachreviews.com. He described it as, “an extended, R-Rated version of a ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ episode.” That’s exactly what it is. It’s a bit campy, but it doesn’t take itself seriously, so it’s just a lot of fun.
Yes, the dialog is a bit cheesy at times. Janssen’s performance is a bit over-the-top. And at times Hansel and Gretel seemed a bit “too” close. But the good outweighs the bad.
Let’s talk about about the good. First off, Renner and Arterton. OMG, I love them! Renner is an action-star and he can be funny too. And Arterton is just a super badass heroine. Seriously, she knows how to throw a hit … and how to take one.
The two have an excellent chemistry together. They play off each other well and fight together even better.
That brings me to the next great thing about the movie … the action. There’s lots of it, which is fine by me. I’m all for watching an ugly witch getting the crap beat out of her before she’s beheaded and burned.
I don’t even mind that Hawkeye … didn’t pick up a bow and arrow. In this instance, the guns were much more effective. And some of their witch traps were very impressive.
The effects were standard, but well done. The opening credits are over an animation of old storybook illustrations that come to life and you fly through was really creative. Also, the witch’s makeup and costume design was fantastic.
I went into “Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters” with apprehension, but all I really wanted was to be entertained. That’s exactly what I got. I love seeing new twists put on old stories. They could have pushed it a little more but I ain’t mad at it. This Hansel and Gretel are grown up and know how to kick ass.
If you’re looking for some fast-paced action and some laughs along the way, this movie is for you.
- Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters (fogsmoviereviews.com)
- Hansel and Gretel: Wedonites Assemble (rorschachereviews.com)